Jaye on a Moped versus a Liger

Last night, Jaye and I saw two grizzly bears fighting.

Jaye: "They're the ultimate killing machine. What if a grizzly bear fought a lion? A tiger? A Moose?"

Me: "A hippo would take it down."

This lead to grizzly bears versus golden eagles, a toucan, and an owl. According to Jaye, this is how the latter scenario would transpire:

Bear: RAWR!!

Owl: HOOT!

Bear: RAWR!!

Owl: HOOT!

[36 hours later....]

Bear: RAWR!

Owl: HOOT!

It would be a draw.

But what about a more difficult scenario? What about Jaye naked on a moped but wearing a helmet, versus a liger?

Things to consider before making your answer:

*The moped is a standard issue 80's TOMOS with a full gas tank of about 2 gallons and a range of 40 miles per gallon, and Jaye is creating no wind extra wind drag by being free of clothes

*The Liger has had no circus training, cannot ride a moped, does not have a license to legally do so, and has no where important to be at the moment of this challenge

*Both he and Jaye have had a nutritious breakfast, adequate sleep, proper hydration, and will not be involving law enforcement at any time

*The Liger may or may not be open to new experiences

*Jaye has plenty of gas money stuffed in her helmet

Poetry Happy Sparkle Fun Timez

Last night, I discovered a pile of unused business reply postcards that Mom and the ladies at the college had been using as scratch paper. I decided that I was going to decorate them and mail them to her and her friends just for fun. I dragged Sis into the plot and we decided to terrorize Mom and her co-worker friend with nothing but truly awful "Roses are red..." poems.

We came up with several that were really cringe-worthy.

Jaye's contributions:

Roses are red
Violets are flowers
I often believe
I have magical powers

Roses are red
Violets are furry
When I take off my glasses
You look really blurry


Me:

Roses are red
Violets are purple
There isn't a word
That rhymes with purple.
(Except maybe hurple)

Roses are red
Violets are sunny
I need a Ferrari
Give me some money

Instead of committing first class mail fraud, I left them in her purse to find. She thought they were hilarious. We decorated them like serious Hallmark cards so the messages were rather a shock.

Yeah, You Heard Me

In the course of my writing like a writing thing that writes writingly, I looked up a few alternate words in the computer's dictionary (possibly words to replace "write"), and I was mildly amused to find that the word "mad" as in "lunacy or madness" comes from the same root as the word "mutate".

The next time I'm feeling crazy, I'm going to tell people that I'm mutating.