Things Jaye and I Did Together Yesterday

• 1. watched "The Young and the Restless"
• 2. ballet-danced to hold music
• 3. were chased by a palmetto bug

1. [Scene:]

M: "That Billy Abbott. Needy much?"
J: "Adam and Sharon are totally gonna do it."


2. [Scene:]

J: "I'm in the queue on hold. Watch them hang up on me..."

[hold music playing on speaker phone]

M: "Say... is that Swan Lake... no... The Nutcracker..."
J: "Sugar Plum Fairy." [arches her arms, rellevee]
M: [joins in unison, pirouettes]
J: "Now, turn in reverse!"
[pirouetting in reverse]
[line goes dead, music stops]
J: "See! Hung up on me!"


3. [Scene:]

[Twins at the computer, heedlessly goofing off]

Lalalalalablahblahblahlalalalalblahdeblahlalalabla hblah!!

M: "Ack! A palmetto bug!"
J: [leaping from the computer chair] "Where is it?!" [sees it] "EEEWWWWW, gross!!!"

[the palmetto bug begins to charge at us]

J: "#@%*&$!! It flies!!"

[Twins shriek like alarmed monkeys]

M: [climbs up onto the exercise bike]
J: [scuttles behind the computer chair]

[Nasty villainous bug advances brazenly]

[Twins shriek like alarmed monkeys]

M: [swearing] [climbs up on mother's bed frame]

J: "I'm gonna throw something at it!"
M: "What?! Jaye, gross, don't!! ... something?"
J: "Something!"
M: "Like what?!"
J: "I don't know!"
M: "Wait! It's going behind that storage container!"
J: "Where is it?!"
M: [eureka] "Ok! It's gone! Run for it! GO GO GO!"

[Twins flee the room shrieking like alarmed monkeys]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

J: [shuts the bedroom door behind us] "There! We're safe!"

[bug comes staggering out from UNDER the gap in the door after the humans]

M: "It's still chasing us!!"

[Twins shriek like alarmed monkeys and flee upstairs with the phone to call for back-up]

[phone mother]

[Mother laughs mockingly because she's got an unholy deal going with the bug underworld and is unafraid]

[Twins sit upstairs and sulk until she comes home from work]